How drunk was he?

If a guy is “three sheets to the wind” he’s pretty well drunk! But what exactly does that have to do with being drunk?

In nautical terms, ‘sheets’ are ropes (go figure) that hold the sails in place. When a sheet was blowing in the wind, it had come loose thus allowing the sail to blow uselessly in the wind. As a result, the ship would drift off course. A staggering drunken sailor was compared to a ship whose sheets were loose.

So if a sailor was three sheets to the wind he was fairly well intoxicated.

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.” – Dean Martin

Sometimes, expressions don’t have a literal meaning, they just sound good. For instance, “drunk as a skunk” probably evolved just because it rhymed. “Drunk as a lord” implied that only rich people could afford intoxicating drink.

“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.” – W.C. Fields

“If you want to keep a secret, post it on a sign. It will never be read!” – Phil Brim